Rethinking Saying NO…and Reclaiming Saying YES
I have been reading a lot about productivity these days—I’m a nerd for finding ways to get things done while maintaining my sanity with 3 little kiddos.
The topic that invariably comes up is saying NO.
To be honest, I’ve begun to find this conversation a bit boring. And misleading. When I reflect on the lessons learned from months of work-from-home, I realize that saying NO hasn’t led to any successes or growth for me professionally or personally.
We work hard our whole lives to be a position to say yes. YES to opportunity. YES to new projects. YES to new friends. YES to adventure.
Yes means growth. Yes people rule the world (and they have more fun).
If we want to work smart, we need more Big Yeses – to people, adventure, opportunity, and learning.
To do so, we need rethink saying no.
Examine your thief.
I recently read an amazing new book, A Minute to Think by Juliet Funt. (If you haven’t read it, do.)
One of the key concepts of this book is the 4 Thieves that rob our time: Drive, Perfection, Activity, and Information. Our thieves are complicated. They are also our strengths.
The thief of Perfection gives you fantastic-looking work, but it chains you to your office late at night.
The thief of Information means you know a lot, but it makes it impossible to make a decision.
The thief of Drive means you are ambitious and set high goals, but it runs you into the ground.
The thief of Activity means that you are on every project and committee, but hurts your ability to sit down and focus.
Without a doubt, my primary thief is Activity. I need to be busy. All the time. If I am doing 10 things, I want to do 15. I have trouble sitting still, delegating, thinking, and, you guessed it, saying no.
Funt’s concept of thieves is thought-provoking. Many of us are a little OCD or Type A. But it manifests in different personas.
Thieves are dangerous. They rob us of our Big Yeses – those projects, events, ideas, fun activities, new friends – with the highest value and meaning.
Ask yourself: Are so caught-up in editing your work that you don’t have time to learn? Are you so caught up in the news you don’t have time for your kids?
Examine your own thief. Which one is stealing your time and your ability to live your best life?
Say no to this thief—but yes to what will stretch and reward you.
Audit what’s eating your time.
For fun, I did an audit over a couple days of what was stealing my time. That is, pulling me away from my goals.
Here are some of the things that came up a lot:
Looking for things (keys, glasses, socks especially, for my kids????)
Fiddling with technology.
Doing “just a little bit” of a project.
Stewing about a dumb topic.
Composing and recomposing a client email.
Staring at ridiculous news feeds on my phone.
Stopping in the middle of task (for absolutely no reason).
Going to the store for things I forgot.
Thinking (and rethinking) about what to work on next.
You can call these things the little thieves (or gremlins, demons, time trash, or whatever). They weasel into your day and rob you of your time and focus.
Little thieves can come from big thieves. Perfection drives excessive formatting of your worksheets and organizing your paperclips. Activity drives lost time switching from task to task.
Little thieves can come from bad habits or bad practices. Messy files cost you time looking for things. Poor communication sends your co-worker running in the wrong direction. Back-to-back meetings drain your team’s energy.
The trick with the little thieves is to recognize them and then confront them. Improve the broken process. Confront the bad habit.
You’ll have time for your Big Yeses if you get serious about your big and little thieves. Say no to your OCD tendencies and your bad habits and bad systems and embrace all the yeses you can muster. You are one YES away from the opportunity of your lifetime.
Liked this? Click here to get more insights and tips from me. If you’re exploring a documentation challenge, problem-solving issue, or anything else, I’d love to help. Shoot me an email at: adrienne@bellehumeurco.com.
